Oh marketing and advertising. You sneaky little minx. I love the internet so hard, but there are days like yesterday that leave me confused and shaking my head in wonder. And I’m not sure it’s medically sound to have a geek boner at the same time, but, well, welcome to the pants in my mind.

Yesterday, Facebook not only announced that they’ve crossed the praise-worthy threshold of 1 billion monthly users, but they also released their first ever ad campaign. Let that one rock you like a hurricane for  a minute. One. Billion. Monthly. Users. and an ad? I’d like to sit down with Zuckerface to let him know that this is a little backwards, but who am I to say, I just have one repeat visitor from Wichita, so I can’t really be held accountable as an authority on this. Perhaps if I put out an obscure attempt at universally relating everyday things to the most brilliant time suck of the 21st century, I may gain a religious following of retirees in Florida. ::waves to grandma::

I would only be able to give the team that put this together a gold star for effort. The thing is going to be distributed in 13 different countries, and it looks pretty U.S. centric if you want my honest opinion. Sure Brazil knows what airplanes and basketball are. And Russians are no strangers to bridges. As an Italian-American, I feel it’s my duty, nay my responsibility, to the women of my homeland to give them something a little more “everyday relatable” because it’s not everyday I get the opportunity to sit in a chair.

Now Italy totally loves Facebook. You’re welcome, Zuckerberg.