The day to celebrate mom is fast upon us and unlike most mamas who want their kids to bring floral shrubbery into the house and for strange people to rub their feet, I’m content draping myself in sweatpants and watching YouTube videos in bed until 2pm.
So this year I’m thanking God for streaming video devices and their ability to access the internet. Oh and also for my kid that makes it cool for me act useless on Sunday.
In Jesus name, Amen.
John Roberts’ “Mother’s Day”
Everybody has/is this mother at some point in their maternal career. From the ridiculous hairstyle to the brassy Brooklyn accent…okay so maybe the accent part is indigenous to which corner of the world your mother threatened you with a wooden spoon on Christmas Eve to go to sleep or Santa was definitely not bringing you an Easy Bake Oven. All I know is that when I played The John Roberts YouTube Collection to my own mother during a visit a few weekends ago, she made me pause this particular piece a few times because her Poise was fully saturated. Repeatedly.
(I’d also highly recommend “The Phone Call” as bonus material after you spill syrup on your duvet cover from the French toast in bed.)
Convos With My 2-Year-Old “Mother’s Day Special”
Speaking of the culinary greatness only children can bestow, we’ve all had that ‘kitchen creation’ moment as a small child that left our own mothers retching in the corner while they mustered the strength to praise the concoction of everything in the spice cabinet as wonderfully delicious. I’m more and more convinced that my child is the Guy Fieri of food things now that I’m on the receiving end of the ingredient experimentation. You’d think this would mean more bacon and less corn starch.
Barats and Bereta “Mother’s Day”
My guess is that it’s completely insane and illogical to want to start trying for another so that this scenario can be a reality in 10-12 years, right? I’m willing to be talked down from this ledge, but not until I can come down from it via slip-n-slide from the pants peeing. Growing up with two sisters, I see this circumstance in how the three of us girls would have carried our classy selves to get just one nice shot for mom.
And yes. I would have been the one in the Tool shirt or with the heli-pad hair style that ruined the sweetness.
So laugh on, Moms. Giggle your day away while you still have to do the dishes. It’s cool. We signed on for this.