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Unfittingly Fitting In

Unfittingly Fitting In

The conversations of the weekend were plenty and often.

One of which, a tried staple in any scenario where networking of this type is prevalent, seemed to rock me.

At times the rocking was gentle, like the sway of a hammock on a warm spring day. And at others, it managed to manifest as the type of turbulence one might imagine on the open sea, with fifty foot swells and winds at thirty knots out of the northeast when you’re final destination is awaiting you in the same direction.

“How long have you been blogging?”

A question that echoed dozens of times, from the lips of those I’ve been connected with since day one and those I was meeting for the very first time.

“Near seven years…”, I’d confidently replied the first handful of times.

After a while, the apparent discomfort that would wash over the quester at that response, left me unsettled, sure, but more so enlightened. And in those moments, it became clear to me that I’ve done something in my existence online that I perhaps didn’t allow myself to fully comprehend until I was, quite literally, staring the reality square in the face.

I had begun my journey in creating content online in one corner of the internet. This corner is beaming and bursting with the strength of community and companionship one would be challenged to find in any of the other corners. But here I stand with a refreshingly deep exhale of breath, staring at that corner from the opposite side of the room. I find myself continuously identifying with the corner and those who occupy it on a personal & emotional level, but as far as where my heart for creating is concerned, the mirror I stare into now exists less in full body and on-the-ceiling-above-the-bed and more in the form of a compact pocket version.

Unfittingly Fitting In

What I find most beautiful about the internet is that it serves as a place to grow for all of us. It’s a place for us to begin and to discover and to ultimately flourish in whatever it may be that we, as creators and storytellers, are passionately driven to share. Make no mistake that the element of where and why I started to publish anything at all, that led me to the beautifully, priceless relationships I have with my fellow parents, still burns brightly inside of me. I marvel at the unfathomable level of admiration I have for those forwarding the conversation on raising our children and taking care of ourselves in the face of the darkest sides of parenthood.

And it was in the company of these wonderfully connected peers, that that moment of honesty bore its fullest witness.

That, for me, I have a different story to tell you here.

And that?

Why, that’s quite alright.

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