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Why Hallways are the New Black

Quick Hallway Storage Makeover

Home is my favorite place on the entire planet.

More specifically, the home we have now, with its humble 892 square feet of 87-year-old charm, is my favorite place on the planet.

One of the quirkiest things about this abode is that it has a skinny little door between the kitchen and the hall leading back to the bedrooms and bathroom. At first we used it as a way to get in and out of the kitchen…and then we realized how little counter space we had in the kitchen. So now, on the kitchen side, that narrow doorway is blocked by a rolling butcher’s cart.

This also means that for the past several months, we’ve had a corner in our otherwise straight shot hallway that looked really sad and pathetic with my piss poor attempt to a) give it some gusto and b) displace the overflow of books we have oozing from every other corner of our house.

The gusto was not working. For anyone. It didn’t even exist.

Gusto laughed in the face of that corner.

Ha. Ha. Ha ha ha. Ha.

So I set off for HomeGoods to see what I could finally find to bring that spot to life.

I was on the hunt for something tall (for such an old place, this bad boy’s got massively high ceilings), but shallow. I wanted something round and colorful, with some good surface area and maybe some glass doors.

I didn’t find that at all.

Well I did find some of it, just not exactly the HomeGoods unicorn I was hoping for.

Why Hallways are the New Black via

Now I had the chance to not only drive my household crazy at 9pm on a weeknight with this wild hair, I was able to sort through the massive number of book titles catching every dust bunny that has ever tumbled through our place as well. Singlehandedly kept Swiffer duster in business, y’all. I’m talking saddle-up-and-ride-em-into-the-sunset tumble dust. My throat tickles just thinking about it.

I immediately realized how ‘built for video’ I am too because OH MY GOD!! HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE PHOTOGRAPHERS?!

Trying to get photos in a tiny space while also not having them look like I invited Flash to a photoshoot in my miniature, manmade hallway was really hard. I complained a lot. Which definitely helped my already annoyed household, I’m sure.

But beyond the permanent heater grate indentions on my tush, I finally have a space to showcase some of my favorite collections of all the titles this home welcomes.

The golden radio mic offering support to the row of mish-mashed, go-to reads.

The World According to Mr. Rogers | Good Karma: How to Find it and Keep it | The Origin of Species | Freemasons | A Short History of the World | Mutiny on the Bounty | The Naked Olympics | The Accidental Billionaires | Juliet, Naked | How Did It Begin? | The Parent’s Phrase Book | Company | When You Lie About Your Age The Terrorists Win

The rock reads. So many more of these singing their sweet melodies from the cracks and the crevices of these four walls, but these five deserved their spot with The Brownie.

Eminent Hipsters | Jimmy Hendrix Turns Eighty | Who Shot Rock and Roll | Elliott Smith

And finally, the most hilarious shelf in the entire place.

Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened | I Am Pusheen the Cat | The Areas of My Expertise | Rob Delaney: Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage. | Learn to Crochet | How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You | Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants |
Written by

Award-winning comedian behind the YouTube channel, SHUGGILIPPO. Jess toggles between making relatable jokes on the internet and raising a millennial family. Tweeter. Instagrammer.

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