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A Growing Kid Is Not What I Thought It'd Be

A Growing Kid Is Not What I Thought It’d Be

When we have our babies we want them to be babies forever because of things like the automatic sappiness that comes with motherhood and how really, really good new babies smell. Well, most of the time.

But then they start to grow. And they grow and grow and grow and grow until one day we find ourselves shouting obscenities from the pantry on our mission to find the Miracle Grow someone has been slipping into the kindergartener’s cereal.

What ends up happening when the little squirts spurt though is way different than what you’ve always been told.

Sure you’re weepy because the tiny tot is getting to be a big kid too fast, but you end up getting way pissed at the fact that your kid gets a complete wardrobe overhaul two to three times a year while you’re still wearing a pair of sweatpants from the 8th grade that may or may not have been a few decades ago.

Don’t even think that the inflation to your budget is for the newly commanded threads or bottomless pit approach to eating either.


Get ready to spend more of your hard earned money on gas to get your worn crotched yoga pants to and from the mall bi-monthly.

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