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#CYDNTW – MARKERS, SHAVE CREAM & CRACKERS

I love crap.

Here’s where you can find the stuff I fawn over in this episode:

Fresh & Easy goodness Cookies Whole Grain Vanilla

I’ll admit it. I’m a serial snacker. A cereal snacker even sometimes. But when I’m presented with something like a bag of super yummy animal cookie cracker things that I’m supposed to pack in my kid’s lunchbox every morning, I can’t help it if a few of the safari friends make a detour to The Cavern of Mom’s Piehole. Convenient and super tasty. Love ’em. Head HERE to find a Fresh & Easy location near you.

Ulysses Press Hilarious Tear Out Cards

Um. Hi. If we haven’t met yet, I’d like to introduce myself. I’m Jess and I love kitschy, tabletop books. In the case of this joke-riddled, tear-out books from Ulysses Press, one might more accurately refer to these puppies as “back pocket/handbag books”. Because you can carry them around and tell people who park like idiots at Target that they, well, park like idiots at Target. Or you can hit on someone in a bar because it’s SO LOUD, but you’d still like to their choice of “rock-paper-scissors, thumb wrestling or darts”. I think my favorite though has to be the one titled, “Sorry I Had Sex on Your Bed”…for very obvious reasons. Not because I had sex in your bed, but maybe just because I am very, very good at awkwardly messing things up. You can pick them up HERE.

Colored Sharpies

I don’t know if you’re a doodler, but I’m a doodler and I think that if you started to fall down the rabbit hole of obsessively purchasing fun, brightly colored Sharpie markers, you’d probably end up a doodler. Doodling is like graffiti for people who are too chicken shit to tag public property. In addition to thug tagging my child’s lunch notes, I use these things to over-organize my to-do lists or just to draw weird wieners on my own notepads like I’m a 13-year-old boy on the brink of puberty in the back of his biology class. A hairy ball sac never looked better than when it’s drawn with a bright green marker. Head over HERE to buy the pack I showed you in the video.

Whish Shave Crave Shaving Cream

I know, I know. I ruined angel hair pasta for you in the video by equating it to my “Legs like Bigfoot” comment. I think you’ll get over it enough to check out this miracle whip (*not the sandwich spread) shave cream majesty. From what I can tell, it’s currently a Birchbox exclusive that you can get full-size for $20 bucks + shipping. I’ll tell you that it’s worth it. I’ll also tell you that I’d considered having a hairy noodle character friend in the video for when I described my leg hair situation, but opted out of it because it was too early in the morning to fuss with crafts. He may or may not still be something I make for a future episode though…

UPDATE: You can totally buy the full bottle HERE too.

Check out last week’s crap! —->

#CYDNTW

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