Oh the holiday season.
The perfect time to overindulge in some of our favorite things and inevitably wake up on the other side of The New Year with a hangover that doesn’t seem to quit.
Here are 12 types of holiday hangovers and tips on how to survive them from a “professional”:
1. The Hoovering-Too-Many-Sweets Hangover
source / thegifchick
Between a flour speckled nose in the kitchen and the seemingly never-ending parade of trays piled high with cookies, cakes and fudge, the aftermath of sweets-glutton are inevitable. Balance every bite of a Pfeffernüsse with an extra notch on the ole belt. And maybe some upset stomach relief tablets.
2. The Spending-All-of-the-Time-with-Your-Family Hangover
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Whether you’re three years old or thirty years old, any concentrated period of time spent with your siblings will result in excessive bickering. Whoever thought Mikey Jr’s swift yank of your grown sister’s hair would trigger her post traumatic hair pulling disorder from when the two of you would scuttle about in the backyard? Now is the perfectly-fitting moment to exercise the silent treatment.
3. The Decorating-Every-Inch-of-the-House Hangover
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So maybe you’re into displaying four Christmas trees and what appears to be every vintage holiday tchotchke made in the last century. There’s no avoiding the untangling of the pesky lights, tossed carelessly into a plastic tote last year, but at least you’ll have an attentive audience of holiday plushies to marvel at your garland stringing skills when you eventually give up. Bribing neighborhood children to tackle post-holiday decor removal is always a good idea. Always.
4. The Shoveling-So-Many-Piles-of-Snow Hangover
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There’s a weird enjoyment about clearing the walkway after the first snowfall of the season. Which is short-lived after the umpteenth time you have to morph into a human marshmallow just to carve a path from the front door to the driveaway. Your socks are already sopping wet, add your underpants to the mix with some good old fashioned snow angels to remedy.
5. The Drinking-Gallons-of-Nog Hangover
source / Movie Clips
Enjoying the straight up or rum-riddled version of this delightful holiday dairy beverage is definitely going to happen. There’s no denying a frothy glass or twelve-hundred during this festive time of the year. Turtlenecks and hunter green, velvet pants while consuming are optional but totally recommended. Escape the tum or bum rumble side effects by enacting the 1:1 water to nog rule.
6. The Wrestling-with-Loads-of-Wrapping-Paper Hangover
source / Daily Dot
Wrapping presents should be a joyful time as you anxiously await your loved ones’ reactions to your thoughtfulness. Thirty minutes in though and you’re riddled with generosity regret as you do your best Steve Irwin with the ribbons and bows and hypnotically striped paper. Two words can save the treacherous effects of this hangover: gift bags.
7. The Endlessly-Singing-Holiday-Songs Hangover
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No, really, everyone would just love to hear your EDM remix of Mariah Carey’s entire Christmas album. Oh, you Skrillex-ified “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” as well? Great. The only solution for this type of torture is to BRING BACK BING!
8. The Making-a-Million-Long-Distance-Phone-Calls Hangover
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It’s hard trying to remember if it’s Aunt Milly in Minneapolis or Uncle Clarence in Cleveland who just threw their back out after the hours-long marathon of spouting “Happy Holiday” wishes into the receiver. Yeah, it’s a shame you couldn’t make it out there to celebrate with them. Next year for sure. Probably.
9. The Binge-Watching-Holiday-Specials-on-Netflix Hangover
source / eonline
Sure you wish you could meet up to go look at Christmas lights, but the Donald Duck version of A Christmas Carol is on, and who knows how long it will be available before they remove it again until next year. Plus? They say the best way to cure a hangover is to keep streaming. Whoever “they” are…
10. The Tirelessly-Threatening-your-Kids-to-be-Good-or-Else Hangover
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It’s the one time of year that you have a built in bargaining chip for good behavior. That doesn’t mean that Sally and Tommy aren’t going to test every ounce of your patience or your commitment to the threat though. Stick with it. You have this. And don’t be afraid of ice cold, cucumber slices for your constant need to shoot laser beam eye darts.
11. The Licking-Hundreds-of-Greeting-Cards Hangover
source / SHUGGILIPPO
Snail mail becomes alive and well come this time of year. But as much as you love sending the finally-nailed-it family photo where Thomas wasn’t crossing his eyes and Gwendolyn isn’t lifting her skirt, sealing each card for safe delivery is both monotonous and as close as you’ll ever feel to George’s fiancé in that one episode with the wedding invitations. You’ll have plenty of leftover sweets to ease your tired tongue. We will survive this.
12. The Gifting-an-Abundance-of-Gifts Hangover
source / The Office Wikia
Running out of time to shop for those at the bottom of your list always seems to lead to the gifting of everyday, left over items. What do you mean you never said you wanted a slightly used desk lamp? We can avoid this one altogether by gifting smarter with these Capital One 360 Black Friday Deals.
We’re all guilty of succumbing to the allure of the fun of the holiday season, but Capital One 360 would like to hold your proverbial financial hair back.
#FinancialPeace of mind is a much more fitting means of kicking off the new year when we’re resolving for change, a lot of which depends on our ability to rest easy regarding the finances we work tirelessly throughout the year to obtain. The holidays don’t necessarily need to be a time to cinch, but with smart planning and preparation, some of which Capital One 360 is vowing to help with all year round, the financial hangover come January for ourselves, friends or loved ones, simply doesn’t need to be anymore.
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.