Ah, summertime.
The perfect time of year to lose every ounce of excitement you attached to “going to the pool” because kids. These people on Twitter really know what’s up when it comes to venturing to that swimming hole and finding children present.
1. This tweet about how much we care for your acrobatics, child.
Dear every kid,
No one cares about your handstand in the shallow end.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 23, 2016
2. This tweet about the peanut gallery composed of not-your-own-children.
me: *trying to get onto a pool float*
random kid: you look like a wacky, waving inflatable tube man!
me: relaxing at the pool is a myth— Jess (@shuggilippo) June 14, 2017
3. This tweet about the alternate use for popular pool toys.
Pool noodles are a great way to sword fight your kid while still lying on the couch.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) June 13, 2017
4. This tweet about the creative pool games kids create.
These kids are playing a pool game & they’re naming states & they said this kid was cheating bc he made up a state…..he said Illinois
— emily ? (@emleakk) June 4, 2017
5. This tweet about how the entire pool area is a kid’s personal toilet.
[Locker Room]
3: MOM I DIDN’T PEE IN THE POOL TODAY
Me: Great job, son!
3:*points to changing room* I PEED RIGHT THERE
Me:
3: TWO TIMES
— Ash (@adult_mom) June 29, 2016
6. This tweet about our convictions to be better parents, but then remembering we need a frosty beverage.
“When I’m a parent, I’m not treating my kid like some kind of servant”
*Calls 7yo on his phone watch, “bring a beer out to the pool.”
— Frosty Muggs (@JvilleThrill) June 4, 2017
7. This tweet about poolside parenting math.
Summer parenting:
60% adjusting goggles
40% listening to a child ask “do u want to see me do a handstand” in the shallow end of a pool— 46 Shades of Gray (@44shadesofgray) May 31, 2017
8. This tweet about the types of things kids just need to know about the pool.
[Lifeguarding]
Kid: Do you guys use that stuff that turns the pool blue when you pee?
Me: No.
Kid: Okay, that’s good
— Joshua Eckels (@jeckels4) June 13, 2017
9. This tweet about how the tables have turned, but not really.
Waiting for the kids to be done at the pool is the new waiting in the school pickup line.
— Jess (@shuggilippo) June 14, 2017
10. And finally, this tweet about how parents gauge the temperature over summer break.
It’s I-watched-my-kid-pee-in-the-pool-but-I’m-gonna-go-sit-in-it-anyway hot outside today.
— Life UnPinteresting (@LifeUnPinterest) June 13, 2017
